Do you practice Assertiveness in your Communication?

Assertiveness is a word that expresses a positive predisposition to establish and maintain constructive relationships, win-win relationships, where all people who participate in a conversation gain a benefit.

Assertiveness defends our right to have a different opinion, to express a vision opposite to our interlocutor. This does not mean that we are against the other person. We simply do not share your same thoughts and we want our voice to be heard and respected as well. In most cases, we don't just want to convince anyone, we simply express ourselves...

For Assertiveness to be complete, of course we must also respect the other person, without showing aggressiveness in our communication, verbal or non-verbal. Managing our body language and tone of voice will be key to establishing a good relationship with our interlocutor. Assertiveness consists precisely in respecting ourselves in a bidirectional way.

 

Am I Assertive?

We have been taught since we were little not to raise our voices, not to be aggressive, not to interrupt people when they speak... on the other hand, on many occasions, almost subconsciously, we allow others to break these "rules" and We allow ourselves to be “intimidated” by others, perhaps because they have a higher hierarchy than us or because we simply feel inferior to them.

I always say in my training that Assertiveness is a continuous challenge in our Communication. When we have a different opinion, the mere fact of expressing it gives us dignity, it places us on the same level as the other person, as long as we express it with empathy, without hurting feelings. When we also want to influence the other person to change their opinion, at that moment the Communication game begins, where we will apply all the techniques at our disposal to “seduce”, convince, and argue the reason for our vision.

 

Do we penalize Assertiveness?

 “Your personal power determines your assertiveness. Dare to expand your assertive area and raise your voice” - these are the words of Adam Galinsky, professor of Negotiation at the Colombia School.

This teacher encourages us to defend our interests and not adopt a “submissive” attitude that can harm our self-esteem and also our personal and professional interests. “Can I correct my boss?” Galinsky asks in his recent Ted Talk in New York. This Professor tells us that our area of Assertiveness is variable, that we need to develop it, make it grow to gain greater power as people.

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Society has unwritten rules that sometimes penalize those who dare to question them. Fortunately, more and more companies are open to dialogue and more and more managers and leaders listen to their people and invite them to express their ideas and defend their opinions and disagreements.

 

Two-way respectful communication

Assertiveness involves showing respect towards our interlocutor and showing respect towards ourselves when we communicate. These are two requirements that we must demand of ourselves to maintain healthy communication, from an emotional point of view!

 

 

 

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